When Thomas recently turned 18 I was asked a lot if I am ‘worried’ about him drinking… and worried about the drug thing… and then there is girls… eek…
And of course I am aware of parenting him through all of this.
When Jack got his licence I got asked by people wether I ‘worry’ with him being on the road. When he joined the Army I was asked if I was worried about him getting that call.
Well, after he got his licence my body responded as it did the day after he had his Army Interview… and as it did when Thomas started catching trains and got his ‘L’s… as it did when they both hit 18… a mixture of tension, happiness, relief and exhaustion all at once…
For 14 years since Flash had his stroke I feel like we have been in some kind of combat mode… just fighting to make sure I got the boys to adults and got them their safely, fighting to financially survive as well as emotionally… laying awake worrying about everything and trying to be enough to deal with Autism, stroke and grief… well now I am tired, my body is saying it is time to let it go… not let go, but let IT go… so I am going to stop just being a fan of faith and start following it… I can not control every situation, every driver on the road, every decision my kids make, sorry, ADULTS make…
So I am going to give it a go… leaving the low road of worry and fear and taking the high road of faith and freedom. I am not sure if life puts so much on your shoulders to bring you to your knees as some kind of recruitment strategy into faith… but I am there… so everyday from here on in as my boys venture into the world.
We still have a way to go as Thomas negotiates adulthood but I am going to look up and hand it over to the Universe, Angels, Flash and feathers… because I think this little family has carried the load of worry long enough and we need to do the rest of our wonderful lives with a spring in our step, light in our lives and love and trust in our hearts…
And we all are about to enter some of the best years of our lives and if I want to do it healthy, peaceful and happy I need to surrender….
So, like all great leaders, we bring our team up to own their space in the world and we lift them up to claim their space, and then they grow .into their space.. and suddenly it is not about us… in fact, they grew so much that you can hardly even see me in the picture any more …lol..
